As I troll through the FB newsfeed, I see all the fantastic things my ‘friends’ are
doing – 140mile run through the Sahara desert, amazing strong yoga poses in
stunning scenery with gorgeous model type white smiles and glowing skin,
cooking up a perfect raw and healthy dinner, everyone seems to be having fun
and getting younger.
This voice in my head screams – what about you – what are you doing – sitting
on the couch reading about it? And I start to get anxious… I’m not doing enough,
not living enough, not pretty enough, strong enough, young enough …. I’m not
enough? I have to do more…… what shall I do next, how can I be more, have
more, do more…… an endless barrage of noise from my head entails……. My heart
starts to race, I feel my body respond with adrenalin…. Its ready to run, fight,
drive, do. Adrenalin coursing through my veins with no where to go as I sit and
stare at the newsfeed.
Then I remember. I look up…. The sun is shining, the trees outside look beautiful
in the sunlight. My animals are lounging peacefully, unaware of my internal
battle. It had happened again. I had become locked into a thinking pattern,
triggered by a competitiveness and a need to be more.
As I sit and observe this , I can feel the process unfolding. A letting go of this
pattern. I continue to observe the bodily sensations and at the same time I look
at nature all around me. I can feel the tight ball of energy in my chest moving
upwards and emotion arising as I let go of this way of thinking , this head based
need for more. My heart starts to see the truth, my jaw loosens, my shoulders
move back away from my ears. Surrender.
Scientifically I understand what happens in these moments. I can still feel the
residue of the stress response hormones in my body and I know they will be the
cause of something unwanted (illness, disease, inflammation, digestive issues) if
I continue on this way of thinking.
And there within lies the catch 22, knowing I am causing sickness by thinking
such things lends itself to a second wave of anxiety if I do not focus solely on the
present moment with a curious awareness.
Watch the trees, observe the peaceful qualities of nature. Allow my hearts
wisdom to shine.
My beautiful partner arrives, the dogs sense him walking to the door and
awaken, alert. I remember how amazing my life is and how grateful I am to have
such amazing friends who do amazing things in amazing places with beautiful
smiles and beautiful hearts.
SHIfT Happens. Thank you Yoga.
A journey from Fear to Love.